Standing at the threshold of another new chapter with what seems to be every human feeling spilling out of my heart, I am learning to live in liminality. I am learning how to be.
These are such beautiful words. You've really captured what this moment feels like and I felt myself reliving standing where you are now four (long) months ago. There have been so many times when I wondered if I made the right decision to go back to paid work when J was one. She still cries at every drop off. And also I know it's a huge luxury to even have that choice. I do know I left it far too late to put C in daycare and that trying to do full time parenting and work and study and volunteer and have a clean house nearly broke me! I've come to the conclusion that I can really only do three things. I can parent, do paid work, and write -- and that's it. My house is barely contained chaos, I don't do the volunteering I would love to do, and I probably won't finish the diploma I optimistically started in my first trimester with C (when I still thought a baby would slot neatly into my life haha). The only reason I'll have time to work on the garden this summer is that I'll have a break from paid work. Better to put those plates down gently than have them shatter all around me.
You’re absolutely right about something having to give and I like the idea of consciously setting it down. I saw something about this earlier today around viewing it as being put to one side not forever, just for now. There will be a season for a tidy home and this is not it! Sending love to you and yours.❤️
I loved reading this Jen. I love what you say about living in the thresholds and transitions, in some ways I feel like that’s where a lot of the fullness is. Wishing you much luck in your new chapter xx
Oh Jen I can so relate to this. I have been there when I came back off my first mat leave back to work in late 2020 which was odd as well for obvious reasons. But here I am again with the same feelings as I hope to get back to work more solidly once we can afford childcare for two (when 1 starts school in september) I have that same worry that I’m not going to do it all and plates will be dropped but I love the idea that the transitional time could lead to magic and new opportunities and could be a very good thing. 🙌🏻✨
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment, Kylie-Ann.❤️ It’s such a surreal point in the journey isn’t it? But yes, absolutely here for finding the magic in new seasons. All the best to you as you approach your own next chapter.x
Super relatable! Struggling to manage all my roles, yet not wanting to do any role half-heartedly, is a constant hamster wheel that keeps breaking under the weight of it all. I’m trying to find my balance, and I will. One day!
I love you unconditionally. Your writing is powerful. You are prepared to make yourself vulnerable and share your doubts and fears. You are amazing. ❤️
These are such beautiful words. You've really captured what this moment feels like and I felt myself reliving standing where you are now four (long) months ago. There have been so many times when I wondered if I made the right decision to go back to paid work when J was one. She still cries at every drop off. And also I know it's a huge luxury to even have that choice. I do know I left it far too late to put C in daycare and that trying to do full time parenting and work and study and volunteer and have a clean house nearly broke me! I've come to the conclusion that I can really only do three things. I can parent, do paid work, and write -- and that's it. My house is barely contained chaos, I don't do the volunteering I would love to do, and I probably won't finish the diploma I optimistically started in my first trimester with C (when I still thought a baby would slot neatly into my life haha). The only reason I'll have time to work on the garden this summer is that I'll have a break from paid work. Better to put those plates down gently than have them shatter all around me.
You’re absolutely right about something having to give and I like the idea of consciously setting it down. I saw something about this earlier today around viewing it as being put to one side not forever, just for now. There will be a season for a tidy home and this is not it! Sending love to you and yours.❤️
I loved reading this Jen. I love what you say about living in the thresholds and transitions, in some ways I feel like that’s where a lot of the fullness is. Wishing you much luck in your new chapter xx
Thank you, Lyndsay. I think ‘fullness’ is absolutely to be found in those transitional times.✨
Oh Jen I can so relate to this. I have been there when I came back off my first mat leave back to work in late 2020 which was odd as well for obvious reasons. But here I am again with the same feelings as I hope to get back to work more solidly once we can afford childcare for two (when 1 starts school in september) I have that same worry that I’m not going to do it all and plates will be dropped but I love the idea that the transitional time could lead to magic and new opportunities and could be a very good thing. 🙌🏻✨
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment, Kylie-Ann.❤️ It’s such a surreal point in the journey isn’t it? But yes, absolutely here for finding the magic in new seasons. All the best to you as you approach your own next chapter.x
Thank you, Jen. And to you too.
Super relatable! Struggling to manage all my roles, yet not wanting to do any role half-heartedly, is a constant hamster wheel that keeps breaking under the weight of it all. I’m trying to find my balance, and I will. One day!
I love you unconditionally. Your writing is powerful. You are prepared to make yourself vulnerable and share your doubts and fears. You are amazing. ❤️